Grief And Gratitude:

Celebrating our Daughter's Life amidst the Holiday Season

In the stillness of the winter night, a longing fills the air so tight. A daughter's absence, felt so deep, this Christmas season, surreal and steep.

Her presence brought joy, dispelled gloom. But now, an empty space remains, A void that nothing can contain.

The twinkling lights, the festive cheer, they only serve to bring a tear. For in this season of love and mirth, her absence feels like a void on Earth.

The memories of Christmases past, they linger on, they always last. But this year, they feel bittersweet, as I long for her, my heart's retreat. The warmth of family, the love we share, feels incomplete, as she's not there.

Yet, in this surreal and tender time, I hold her close within my mind. I send my love across the miles, hoping she feels it, and it brings her smiles.

Though she may be far, she's always near, In my heart, she'll forever appear. This Christmas season, though it feels surreal, love transcends distance, it's the real deal.

So, as I miss my daughter dear, I hold onto hope, dispel the fear. For love knows no boundaries, no divide, And in my heart, she'll forever reside.

The holiday season is usually filled with joy, celebration, and togetherness. There is a feeling in the air of sharing, caring and unconditional love towards friends, family and even strangers.

We can feel it towards the old lady navigating her grocery cart through throngs of shoppers in the overcrowded aisles at the grocery store. We can feel it towards the child in his mother’s cart, adding more work for her by swiping a box of cookies from the shelf; the mother gently scolds him. We can feel it towards the cashier at the checkout, and we can even feel it towards the rude driver in the parking lot who took up two parking spaces.

Despite people who hog parking spaces, we have this overwhelming love in our hearts for everyone during this season. For those who have lost a loved one, however—especially a child—this season can be particularly challenging. For our family, this year's festivities are tinged with a profound sense of loss and longing. As we prepare to gather around for the holidays, there is an empty space in our hearts that cannot be filled. Our beloved daughter, Nadiya—who brought so much light and laughter into our lives—passed away while at work, suddenly and unexpectedly, on June 16th, 2023. The pain of her leaving is palpable. And our other children, our grandchildren—along with my husband and I—feel the void left by the loss. Her absence is deeply felt, and the pain is magnified during this season. Yet, amidst the grief, we find solace in celebrating her life and expressing appreciation for the moments we had with her.

Every day, we wake up to a reality that feels surreal. Nadiya, who once filled our lives with her infectious laughter, her energy and her wisdom, is no longer here. The memories we shared with her are etched in our minds, but the ache of her absence is a constant reminder of the void in our lives. The holidays, which were once a time of excitement and anticipation, now serve as a painful reminder of her absence. The joyous traditions we used to partake in as a family now feel incomplete, as if a piece of our puzzle is forever missing.

Losing a child is an unimaginable pain that no parent should ever have to endure. Our hearts ache as we remember our beloved Nadiya, whose life was tragically cut short. She was a bright and vibrant soul who brought joy to everyone she encountered. From a young age, she displayed a remarkable penchant and a zest for life. Whether it was walking in the drizzling rain, or on the beach - whether it was pursuing her passions, or simply spreading cheer - she embraced every opportunity with enthusiasm. We will forever cherish her memories, tucked away in the treasure chest of our hearts for ever.

Grief is a complex and individual journey, and it doesn't simply disappear during the holidays. The empty chair at the dinner table, the unwrapped presents, and the memories of past celebrations can all serve as painful reminders of a terrible loss. Yet, amidst the grief, we find solace in celebrating her life and expressing gratitude for the time we had with her. Rather than allowing grief to consume us, we choose to honor her memory and find ways to celebrate her life during this special time of year.

One way we celebrate our daughter's life is by incorporating her favorite traditions into our holiday festivities. Whether it's baking her favorite cookies, hanging ornaments she loved, or playing her favorite holiday songs, these small acts of remembrance bring her spirit into our home and keep her memory alive. We find comfort in knowing that she is still a part of our holiday celebrations, even if she is no longer present.

In addition to honoring our daughter's memory, we also find gratitude in the time we had with her. We reflect on the precious moments we shared, the laughter and joy she brought into our lives, and the love that continues to bind us together. While the pain of her loss is undeniable, we choose to focus on the gratitude we feel for having had her in our lives, even if it was for far too short a time.

Expressing gratitude for Nadiya during the holiday season can take many forms. It may be in the form of writing letters to her, sharing her stories and memories with loved ones, or even starting a new tradition in her honor. These acts of remembrance not only help us cope with our grief but also remind us of the love and joy that still exist in our lives, despite the difficulty.

Grief and gratitude may seem like conflicting emotions, but they can coexist and even complement one another. By acknowledging our grief and finding ways to celebrate our daughter's life, we are able to navigate this season with a mix of sorrow and gratitude. It is through this delicate balance that we find healing and hope, knowing that our daughter's spirit lives on in our hearts and through our practices.

Through incorporating these things and finding ways to acknowledge the positive effect she’s had on us, we navigate the holiday season with a mix of sorrow and hope. Our daughter being gone is deeply felt, but her spirit continues to shine brightly, reminding us to cherish every moment and find joy amidst the grief.